Joachim P. Erameh


A Christian Marriage Book

To God Almighty

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Copyright© Joachim P. Erameh 2016



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Table of Contents


Words of Wisdom
Marriage Quotation
Chapter 1: The Marriage Institution
Chapter 2: Choosing Your Life Partner
Chapter3: Depend on God
Chapter 4: Getting Married
Chapter 5: Putting God First
Chapter 6: The Place of Love
Chapter 7: Sexual Relationship
Chapter 8: Trust and Faithfulness
Chapter 9: Tolerance and Patience
Chapter 10: Forgiveness
Chapter 11: Decision Making and Compromise
Chapter 12: The Role of the Husband
Chapter 13: The Role of the Wife
Chapter 14: Children in Marriage
Chapter 15: Children Upbringing
Chapter 16: In-law Relationship
Chapter 17: Idleness in Marriage
Chapter 18: House Helps
Chapter 19: Making Your Marriage Work
Chapter 20: Marriage in the Hereafter
Glossary of Used Words


I thank God for the grace bestowed on me to write this book. I am grateful to Mr. Bartholomew Fidelis Jibrin, Mrs. Chinasa Kalu and Mrs. Layide Ohuei for their invaluable contributions to the writing of this book.

I am equally grateful to Mr. Jonah J. Saliyuk, Mr. Benjamin E. Ulebe, Arch. Clement Olorunmaiye, Mr. Michael Ijigah, Mrs. Priscilla Michael, Mr. Sunny Asikele, Mr. Paul Marcus Udoh, Mrs. Happiness Jacob, Mr. Fred Ahemba, Mrs. Eneayi Ann Onah for their inputs and encouragement during the writing of this book.

Words of Wisdom


"Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and
attend to know understanding. For I give you good
doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father's
son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my
mother. He taught me also, and said unto me, Let
thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments,
and live. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not;
neither decline from the words of my mouth. Forsake
her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and
she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principal thing;
therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get
understanding. Exalt her, and she shall promote thee:
she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace
her. She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace:
a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee. Hear, O my
son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life
shall be many. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom;
I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy
steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest,
thou shalt not stumble." (Proverbs 4:1-12).

Marriage Quotation


"Two are better than one; because they have a good
reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will
lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when
he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but
how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against
him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is
not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).



Marriage is the oldest institution on planet earth. In Genesis 2:18, God said it is not good for the man to be alone; hence, He created the woman, Eve to be with the man, Adam. Marriage is ordained by God for the purposes of companionship and procreation.
       Marriage is supposed to be a happy union between a husband and a wife, but the reverse is the case in some marriages today. In marriage, it is expected that husband and wife love and cherish each other dearly. The strength of marriage is love. Lack of love in a marriage would cause it to crumble. What most of us call love today is not love in the real sense of the word, but mere infatuation. Infatuation can easily die off, but "many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it" (Song 8:7).
       Marriage is a trust between husband and wife, but trust today has turned to suspicion in some marriages. If a couple does no longer trusts each other, unfaithfulness would set into their relationship; and if not checked early enough, it would culminate in a separation or divorce. Many marriages today are on the verge of collapse and many homes broken due to marital distrust. The same can even be said of some Christian marriages. And if you do not know, the rate of divorce among Christian couples has reached an alarming proportion in recent times.
      Marriage is supposed to be a thing of joy, but instead, it has caused grief in the lives of many people. It has even caused the untimely death of some married men and women. Recently, a man set his wife and two children ablaze simply because the woman did not allow him to sell her house. Another man committed suicide on the mere suspicion that his wife was having extra marital-affair. Furthermore, the story of a woman solicitor who brutally stabbed her husband to death after a domestic dispute was all over the internet of recent. Why are people experiencing so much pain and sorrow in their marriages? And what can be done to make marriages worthwhile? These and many more are the issues that this book is out to address. The stories in this book were not fabricated. If any of them is similar to your life story; it is merely a coincidence.
     This book is not only for married couples, but also for singles who are contemplating marriage: they have a lot to learn from it. If you are married and not enjoying your marriage, this book is the answer to your problem. Furthermore, if you are disillusioned about your marriage and wants to quit, I would like to assure you that things can get better again if you commit your marriage into God's hand. Psalms 30:5b says, "… weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
     There are so many good books on marriage written by other authors. I would like to encourage you to read some of them to complement whatever knowledge you gain from this book. The best way to make use of this book is to use your Bible to verify every scriptural reference you come across in the course of reading. And for this book to work in your marriage, read it together with your spouse.
     Beloved, most of the things you need to know about marriage are in this book. As you peruse its contents, may God grant you grace to see marriage from its right perspective and apply all the lessons learnt in your marital relationship. I have no doubt that after reading this book, your marriage will experience a total turnaround. Thank you and God bless you.
Joachim Peter Erameh
Kaduna, Nigeria
August, 2016

Chapter 1- The Marriage Institution

The marriage institution is divinely ordained. The first human to be created by God was Adam. And God said it is not good for him to be alone; hence, Eve was created to be a help meet for Adam (Genesis 2: 18; 1 Corinthians 11: 9). Genesis 2:21-23 say, "And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man" This event at the Garden of Eden marks the beginning of marriage.

Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. The Bible warns that those who abuse themselves with mankind shall not inherit the kingdom of God, except they repent before judgment. 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 says, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
      According to William Lyon Phelps, "The highest happiness on earth is marriage." An African proverb says, "A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers." The same goes for the woman who has no husband: she is like a flower without a vase. The man or woman who is up to the age of marriage and not married can never be too happy. For the man, he would sometimes feel lonely and unfulfilled. As for the woman, she would feel bad and unloved whenever she remembers that most of her mates have gotten married.
    There is no nation on earth that can survive without marriage going on amongst its populace. Marriage is a wonderful thing to experience in life. It is a venture worth going into despite the numerous troubles it can sometimes bring. It is a thing of joy to be married. The joy that marriage brings is inexplicable. In case you are up to the age of marriage, but not yet married, pray and ask God to give you a life partner.
     Marriage is good and quite enjoyable. One of the things that make marriage gratifying is sexual relationship between husband and wife. Sex in marriage is meant for the purpose of procreation. It is also meant to be enjoyed by husband and wife in holy wedlock. Having sex for any reason must be within the confines of marriage; otherwise, it becomes a sin against God (1Corinthians 6:18- 20). Sex is not supposed to be before marriage, but after a man and a woman have been joined together and pronounced husband and wife. The scripture says, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13: 4).
     Another good thing about marriage is companionship. Having someone to talk to always is a thing of joy. Any man who is up to the age of marriage needs a woman to share his thoughts and dreams with. This is because behind every successful man lies a woman. In the same vein, every mature woman needs a man who she can call her husband and bear his name.