The Realm of Riddles

narrated by Ulf Blanck

with illustrations by Stefanie Wegner

translated by Georgina Hodge

KOSMOS

Guessing Game

“Does anyone know an animal with a three letter name?” asked Peter Shaw, chewing the end of his pencil. “Eel,” Bob answered bored. “It’s not eel.” “Then it’s a gnu,” Justus butted in. “Also wrong. The middle letter is ‘o’ for starters. “It must be ‘cow’,” said Justus triumphantly. “The third letter is ‘w’, yes.” Then Bob Andrews took his glasses off and wiped them clean on his T Shirt. “How about ʻsilly cow’ he grinned. Peter threw his pencil at Bob in exasperation. “Oh man! I said three letters and not …,” then he paused for a second and blushed. Subdued, he wrote a big ‘S’ in his crossword.

“Sow, how dumb is that! I’m not in the mood for any more stupid riddles.” He took a long sip from his coke and spat it out again in disgust. “Yuck! That’s gross. Tastes like hot raspberry tea!” This was hardly surprising as it always got very hot and sticky inside the Teapot.

The three ??? had been hanging out inside their secret hiding place all morning, bored by old magazines of puzzles and riddles. The Teapot was really a disused water tank that had been used to supply the old steam trains. From the outside it looked like a huge wooden barrel with a handle on it – just like a large teapot in fact.

Justus, Peter and Bob had discovered it a while back and it had become their detective headquarters. You could climb into the wooden tank from below by using a ladder. The inside of the tank was just about big enough for three people, a bunch of different boxes with important stuff inside and for a gigantic stack of empty coke bottles. Justus Jonas was bored doing the crossword puzzles now as well. “This is worse than school. It’s time to solve a real riddle again.” Bob nodded in agreement. “Exactly. We can give these magazines away to a retirement home. We need something with burning letters and walking mummies.”

“Talking skulls and singing swords,” added Justus. “Right. I want dancing unicorns, flying dragons and animals with eighty letters in their names!”

“And I want a cold coke,” Peter butted in. The thought of cold coke brought Justus back down to earth. He put his hand on his rumbling stomach and scraped the last crumbs of a pack of cookies together. “I think we need to get outta this sauna and go to Porter’s to get some food supplies for this afternoon.”

But when they checked their pockets, they didn’t even have fifty cents between them. “Okay, I guess it’s time to bring the bottles back for a deposit,” sighed Bob, shoving a couple of the empty coke bottles into his daypack. The boys packed the rest of the bottles into three large plastic bags. Peter was first to climb down the iron rungs of the ladder leading out of the Teapot. “Pass the bags down to me! But be careful not to drop any bottles on my head!”

“That wouldn’t be so bad!” he heard Bob giggling from above. “What? Whaddya mean, wouldn’t be so bad?” Peter shouted back.

“Well, you only get ten cents a bottle anyway.” Bob was still laughing as he got onto his bike. “Very funny!” mumbled Peter.

The sun was high in the sky now and the hot air shimmered above the hot asphalt of the coastal road. From a distance, you could hear the waves of the Pacific Ocean gently breaking. They could only cycle slowly because of the bags on their handlebars that’s why there wasn’t even a nice breeze from riding to cool them down.

They left the Teapot, which was hidden on an overgrown path, behind them. It was impossible to see it from the road.

It took them twenty minutes to reach the center of Rocky Beach. The market square was calm and deserted in the blazing sunshine, apart from a thirsty dog trying to lap up some water from the fountain. When the three ??? leaned their bikes against the fountain, the dog slunk off grumpily. Porter’s was the only store that was open at lunchtime. The owner was standing in front of the store window, rolling out the awning. “Hello, boys,” he smiled. “Wanna come in and use that allowance of yours?” But as soon as he saw the big bags full of empty bottles, his good mood suddenly changed. “How is a guy supposed to get rich round here, when even the kids take money out of my pockets? If business carries on like this, then I’ll have to bring my own money into the shop every morning.” He grinned as he sorted the bottles into the empty crates. “No worries,” Peter reassured him. “We’re gonna buy something too. “Lucky me, now I don’t have to file for bankruptcy.”

“Bankruptcy?” asked Bob. “Yeah, you know, like when you’ve got no money. Broke, penniless, finito, empty pockets.” The three ??? knew only too well. Porter’s shop had air conditioning and Justus ran straight over to the huge freezer. He stuck his head right down between the frozen pizzas and took a deep breath. “Ah, that’s so good. It feels like the North Pole in here.” Peter and Bob did the same. But when they came back up for air, there was a sun-tanned man standing right next to them. He was wearing dark shades and a bright red baseball cap. “Can anyone tell me where I can find some guy called Jonas in this town?” Justus wiped the last beads of sweat from his face and pointed at himself. “Standing right in front of you”, he said firmly. “What? You’re Titus Jonas?”

“Not exactly. That’s my uncle.” The young man took off his shades and put his hand on Justus’s shoulder. “Well that’s great, kid. I really have to see him. And as I’m sure you kids have nothing better to do anyway, so you can take me to him, can’t you?”

The three ??? stepped back in a snit. But when the guy handed them a ten dollar bill, they looked at one another, uncertain what to do next. Suddenly Bob grabbed the money. “What the heck. Nothing wrong with being a tour guide, is there? The best thing would be to follow us.” The man put his shades back on.

“Nonsense, I don’t need a bicycle escort. I’ll give you guys a lift. “He casually nodded towards the street. The three looked out of the store window and saw a red sports car.

“Awesome! A real Ferrari convertible!” said Peter awestruck.

“Yeah, right. But it’s just a piece of metal. Nice metal, but metal just the same. So, enough said. Hop in!”

As they were leaving the store, Mr Porter ran up behind them. “Hey, you forgot your deposit money!” he yelled across the marketplace. Justus took the coins and thanked him. “We’ll go on our shopping spree next time.” Then the young man jumped straight over the door and into his car. “Ah, by the way, my name is Stanislav Leymont McMurdock. But please call me Stanley, like everyone else. Bob couldn’t believe his ears. “Wait a minute, you’re Stanley McMurdock?”

“Yeah, that’s my Hollywood stage name.”

Only then did the three ??? recognize the famous actor. Bob had seen all his movies.

“I can’t believe it! Stanley McMurdock. In the movies you look so different without this cap and your shades.” McMurdock revved up his engine. “Don’t make such a big deal about it now. I‘m an everyday, normal guy – the rest is just Hollywood. All glitter and make-up.”

When he opened the passenger door, Justus looked at him in amazement. “Hold on a minute, this is only a two-seater. There are four of us!” The actor just smiled at them. “So what? There’s plenty of room for you three half pints!” Moments later, Justus, Peter and Bob were squashed together on top of one another in the front seat.

Heavy Loads

“You are way too heavy,” groaned Peter as the sports car drove off. “Your fault,” retorted Peter. “You had to jump into the car first, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know what you‘re laughing about. You’re sitting under jelly belly Justus,” giggled Peter. “I’m not fat!” mumbled Justus from above.