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Contents
About the Author
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Copyright
About the Author
Ruth Rendell was an exceptional crime writer, and will be remembered as a legend in her own lifetime. Her ground-breaking debut novel, From Doon With Death, was first published in 1964 and introduced readers to her enduring and popular detective, Inspector Reginald Wexford.
With worldwide sales of approximately 20 million copies, Rendell was a regular Sunday Times bestseller. Her sixty bestselling novels include police procedurals, some of which have been successfully adapted for TV, stand-alone psychological mysteries, and a third strand of crime novels under the pseudonym Barbara Vine.
Rendell won numerous awards, including the Sunday Times Literary Award in 1990. In 2013 she was awarded the Crime Writers’ Association Cartier Diamond Dagger for sustained excellence in crime writing. In 1996 she was awarded the CBE, and in 1997 became a Life Peer.
Ruth Rendell died in May 2015.

THE SECRET

HOUSE OF DEATH

Ruth Rendell

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This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
Epub ISBN: 9781409068815
Version 1.0
Published by Arrow Books
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Copyright © Ruth Rendell, 1968
Ruth Rendell has asserted her right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, to be identified as the author of this work.
First published in Great Britain in 1968 by Hutchinson
Arrow edition 1982
Reprinted 1984, 1987 (twice) and 1988 (twice)
Arrow Books
The Random House Group Limited
20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London, SW1V 2SA
www.randomhouse.co.uk
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Arrow Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com
The Random House Group Limited Reg. No. 954009
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 9780099286602
For
Dagmar Blass
Then is it sin
To rush into the secret house of death
Ere death dare come to us?
Antony and Cleopatra
1
The man was heavily built and he drove a big car, a green Ford Zephyr. This was his third visit to the house called Braeside in Orchard Drive, Matchdown Park, and each time he parked his car on the grass patch in the pavement. He was in his early thirties, dark and not bad-looking. He carried a briefcase. He never stayed very long but Louise North who lived at Braeside with her husband Bob was always pleased to see him and admitted him with a smile.
These were facts and by now everyone who lived in the vicinity was aware of them. The Airedale who lived opposite and who belonged to some people called Winter obligingly kept them informed of the big man’s visits. At day-long sentry-go behind his gate, the Airedale barked at strangers, kept silence for residents. He barked furiously now as the man strolled up Norths’ path, knocked at the front door, and, thirty seconds later after a whispered word with Louise, disappeared inside. His duty done, the dog nosed out a brown earth-encrusted bone and began to gnaw it. One by one the women his outburst had alerted retreated from their windows and considered what they had seen.
The ground had been prepared, the seed sown. Now all that remained was for these enthusiastic gardeners to raise their crop of gossip and take it to market over the fences and over the tea-cups.
Of them all only Susan Townsend, who lived next door to Braeside, wanted to be left out of this exchange of merchandise. She sat typing each afternoon in her window and was no more proof than they were against raising her eyes when the dog barked. She wondered about the man’s visits but, unlike her neighbours, she felt no rubricious curiosity. Her own husband had walked out on her just a year ago and the man’s visits to Louise North touched chords of pain she hoped had begun to atrophy. Adultery, which excites and titillates the innocent, had brought her at twenty-six into a dismal abyss of loneliness. Let her neighbours speculate as to why the man came, what Louise wanted, what Bob thought, what would come of it all. From personal experience she knew the answers and all she wanted was to get on with her work, bring up her son and not get herself involved.
The man left forty minutes later and the Airedale barked again. He stopped abruptly as his owner approached and, standing on his hind legs—in which position he wriggled like a belly dancer—fawned on the two little boys she had fetched from school.
Susan Townsend went into her kitchen and put the kettle on. The side gate banged.
‘Sorry we’re so late, my dear,’ said Doris Winter, stripping off her gloves and homing on the nearest radiator. ‘But your Paul couldn’t find his cap and we’ve been rooting through about fifty lockers.’
‘Roger Gibbs had thrown it into the junior playground,’ said Susan’s son virtuously. ‘Can I have a biscuit?’
‘You may not. You’ll spoil your tea.’
‘Can Richard stay?’
It is impossible to refuse such a request when the putative guest’s mother is at your elbow. ‘Of course,’ said Susan. ‘Go and wash your hands.’
‘I’m frozen,’ Doris said. ‘Winter by name and Winter by nature, that’s me.’ It was March and mild, but Doris was always cold, always huddled under layers of sweaters and cardigans and scarves. She divested herself gradually of her outer coverings, kicked off her shoes and pressed chilblained feet against the radiator. ‘You don’t know how I envy you your central heating. Which brings me to what I wanted to say. Did you see what I saw? Louise’s boy-friend paying her yet another visit?’
‘You don’t know he’s her boy-friend, Doris.’
‘She says he’s come to sell central heating. I asked her—got the cheek of the devil, haven’t I?—and that’s what she said. But when I mentioned it to Bob you could see he didn’t have the least idea what I meant. “We’re not having central heating,” he said. “I can’t afford it.” There now. What d’you think of that?’
‘It’s their business and they’ll have to sort it out.’
‘Oh, quite. I couldn’t agree more. I’m sure I’m not interested in other people’s sordid private lives. I do wonder what she sees in this man, though. It’s not as if he was all that to write home about and Bob’s a real dream. I’ve always thought him by far the most attractive man around here, all that cool fresh charm.’
‘You make him sound like a deodorant,’ said Susan, smiling in spite of herself. ‘Shall we go in the other room?’
Reluctantly, Doris unpeeled herself from the radiator and, carrying shoes, shedding garments in her wake, followed Susan into the living-room. ‘Still, I suppose good looks don’t really count,’ she went on persistently. ‘Human nature’s a funny thing. I know that from my nursing days . . .’
Sighing inwardly, Susan sat down. Once on to her nursing days and the multifarious facets of human idiosyncrasy to be observed in a hospital ward, Doris was liable to go on for hours. She listened with half an ear to the inevitable spate of anecdote.
‘. . .  And that was just one example. It’s amazing the people who are married to absolutely marvellous-looking other people and who fall in love with absolute horrors. I suppose they just want a change.’
‘I suppose they do,’ Susan said evenly.
‘But fancy trusting someone and having complete faith in them and then finding they’ve been deceiving you all along. Carrying on and making a fool of you. Oh, my dear, forgive me! What have I said? I didn’t mean you, I was speaking generally, I was——’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Susan cut in. She was used to tactlessness and it wasn’t the tactlessness she minded but the sudden belated awareness on the part of speakers that they had dropped bricks. They insisted on covering up, making excuses and embarking on long disquisitions aimed to show that Susan’s was an exceptional case. Doris did this now, giggling nervously and rubbing her still cold hands.
‘I mean, of course, Julian did carry on behind your back, meeting what’s-her-name, Elizabeth, when he was supposed to be working. And you’ve got a trusting nature like poor Bob. But Julian never did it on his own doorstep, did he? He never brought Elizabeth here.’ Doris added transparently, ‘I know that for sure. I should have seen.’
‘I’m sure you would,’ said Susan.
The two little boys came downstairs, their arms full of miniature cars. Susan settled them at the table, hoping Doris would take the hint and go. Perhaps she was over-protective but Paul was, after all, the child of a broken marriage and on her rested the responsibility of seeing he didn’t grow up with too jaundiced a view of matrimony. She glanced at Doris now and slightly shook her head.
‘Just listen to my dog,’ Doris said too brightly. ‘It’s a wonder the neighbours don’t complain.’ She trotted to the window, gathering up shed garments as she went, and shook her fist at the Airedale, a gesture which inflamed him to a frenzy. He stuck his big woolly head over the gate and began to howl. ‘Be quiet, Pollux!’ Susan often wondered why the Airedale had been named after one of the Gemini. Orchard Drive must be thankful the Winters had no Castor to keep him company. ‘It’s the new baker’s roundsman that’s set him off this time,’ Doris said sagely. ‘He never barks at us or you or the Gibbses or the Norths. Which just goes to show it’s fear with him and not aggressiveness, whatever people may say.’ She glared at her son and said, as if instead of placidly eating bread and butter, he had been urging her to stay, ‘Well, I can’t hang about here all night, you know. I’ve got Daddy’s dinner to get.’
Susan sat down with the children and ate a sandwich. If you had no ‘Daddy’s dinner’ to get, you certainly prepared none for yourself and tea was a must. Paul crammed a last chocolate biscuit into his mouth and began pushing a diminutive red fire engine across the cloth and over the plates.
‘Not at the table, darling.’
Paul scowled at her and Richard, whose hands had been itching to reach for a dumper truck, hid them under the table and gave him a virtuous glance. ‘Please may I leave the table, Mrs Townsend?’
‘I suppose so. Your hands aren’t sticky, are they?’
But both little boys were on the floor by now, trundling their fleet of vehicles and making realistic if exaggerated engine sounds. They wriggled across the carpet on their stomachs, making for Susan’s desk.
This was a Victorian mahogany affair full of niches and cubby-holes. Susan had sufficient empathy to understand its fascination for a five-year-old with a mania for Lilliputian vehicles and she tried to turn a blind eye when Paul used its shelves for garages, her writing paper boxes for ramps and her ribbon tins for turntables. She poured herself a second cup of tea and jumped, slopping it into her saucer, as the paper clip box fell to the floor and fasteners sprayed everywhere. While Richard, the ingratiating guest, scuttled to retrieve them, Paul stuck a jammy hand on Miss Willingale’s manuscript and began to use it for a racing track.
‘Now that’s quite enough,’ Susan said crisply. ‘Outside both of you till bedtime.’
She washed the tea things and went upstairs. The children had crossed the road and were poking toys at Pollux through the curlicues of the wrought-iron gate. Susan opened the window.
‘You’re to stay on this side,’ she called. ‘All the cars will be along in a minute.’
The Airedale wagged his tail and made playful bites at a lorry bonnet Paul had thrust into his face. Susan, who hadn’t been thinking about Julian nearly so much lately, suddenly remembered how he used to call Pollux an animated fun fur. This was the time Julian used to come home, the first of the commuting husbands to return. Pollux was still there and unchanged; as usual the children littered the front garden with their toys; the cherry trees were coming into bloom and the first lights of evening appearing in the houses. Only one thing had altered: Julian would never come again. He had always hated Matchdown Park, that detestable dormitory as he called it, and now he had a flat ten minutes from his office in New Bridge Street. He would be walking home now to vent upon Elizabeth his brilliance, his scorn, his eternal fussing over food, his didactic opinions. Elizabeth would have the joy and the excitement—and the fever-pitch exasperation—until the day came when Julian found someone else. Stop it, Susan told herself sternly, stop it.
She began to brush her fair shiny hair—thinner and less glossy since the divorce. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered. There was no one to see her but a little boy and the chance of a friend dropping in was almost nil. Married couples wanted to see other married couples, not a divorcee who hadn’t even the advantage of being the guilty and therefore interesting party.
She had hardly seen any of those smart childless friends since the divorce. Minta Philpot had phoned once and cooled when she heard Susan hadn’t a man in tow, much less was planning on remarriage. What had become of Lucius and Mary, of lovely remote Dian and her husband Greg? Perhaps Julian saw them, but he was Julian Townsend, the editor of Certainty, eternally sought after, eternally a personage.
The children were safely occupied on the lawn by now and the first homing husband had arrived, Martin Gibbs with a bunch of flowers for Betty. That, at any rate, awoke no painful memories. Julian had never been what he called a ‘hothouse hubby’ and Susan had been lucky to get flowers on her birthday.
And here, exactly on time, was Bob North.
He was tall, dark and exceptionally good-looking. His clothes were unremarkable but he wore them with a grace that seemed unconscious and his masculinity just saved him from looking like a male model. The face was too classically perfect to suit modern cinematic requirements and yet it was not the face of a gigolo, not in the least Italianate. It was an English face, Celtic, clear-skinned and frank.
Susan had lived next door to him and his wife since they had moved to Braeside two years before. But Julian had despised his neighbours, calling them bourgeois, and of them all only Doris had been sufficiently pushing and thick-skinned to thrust her friendship on the Townsends. Susan knew Bob just well enough to justify the casual wave she now gave him from her window.
He waved back with the same degree of amiable indifference, took the ignition key from his car and strolled out on to the pavement. Here he stood for a few seconds gazing at the ruts the green Zephyr had made in the turf. His face had grown faintly troubled but when he turned and glanced upwards, Susan retreated, unwilling to meet his eyes. Herself the victim of a deceiver, she knew how quickly a fellow-feeling for Bob North could grow, but she didn’t want to be involved in the Norths’ problems. She went downstairs and called Paul in.
When he was in bed, she sat beside him and read the nightly instalment of Beatrix Potter. Strong-featured, flaxen-haired, he was his mother’s son, as unlike Julian as could be.
‘Now read it all again,’ he said as she closed the book.
‘You must be joking. It’s ten to seven. Ten to seven.’
‘I like that book, but I don’t think a dog would ever go to tea with a cat or take it a bunch of flowers. It’s stupid to give people flowers. They only die.’ He threw himself about on the bed, laughing scornfully. Perhaps, Susan thought, as she tucked him up again, he wasn’t so unlike Julian, after all.
‘I tidied up all your papers,’ he said, opening one eye. ‘I can have my cars on your desk, if I tidy up, can’t I?’
‘I suppose so. I bet you didn’t tidy up the garden.’
Immediately he simulated exhaustion, pulling the bedclothes over his head.
‘One good turn deserves another,’ Susan said and she went out into the garden to collect the scattered fleet of cars from lawn and flower-beds.
The street was deserted now and dusk was falling. The lamps, each a greenish translucent jewel, came on one by one and Winters’ gate cast across the road a fantastic shadow like lace made by a giant’s hand.
Susan was groping for toys in the damp grass when she heard a voice from behind the hedge. ‘I think this is your son’s property.’ Feeling a little absurd—she had been on all-fours—she got up and took the two-inch long lorry from Bob North’s hands.
‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘It would never do to lose this.’
‘What is it, anyway?’
‘A kind of road sweeper. He had it in his stocking.’
‘Good thing I spotted it.’
‘Yes, indeed.’ She moved away from the fence. This was the longest conversation she had ever had with Bob North and she felt it had been deliberately engineered, that he had come out on purpose to speak to her. Once again he was staring at the ruined turf. She felt for a truck under the lilac bush.
‘Mrs Townsend—er, Susan?’
She sighed to herself. It wasn’t that she minded his use of her christian name but that it implied an intimacy he might intend to grow between them. I’m as bad as Julian, she thought.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘How rude of me.’
‘Not at all. I just wondered . . .’ He had dark blue eyes, a smoky marbled blue-like lapis, and now he turned them away to avoid hers. ‘You do your typing at the window, don’t you? Your writing or whatever it is?’
‘I do typed copies of manuscripts, yes. But only for this one novelist.’ Of course, he wasn’t asking about this aspect of it at all. Anything to deflect him. ‘I wouldn’t consider . . .’
‘I wanted to ask you,’ he interrupted, ‘if ever . . . Well, if today . . .’ His voice tailed away. ‘No, forget it.’
‘I don’t look out of the window much,’ Susan lied. She was deeply embarrassed. For perhaps half a minute they confronted each other over the hedge, eyes downcast, not speaking. Susan fidgeted with the little car she was holding and then Bob North said suddenly:
‘You’re lucky to have your boy. If we, my wife and I . . .’
That doesn’t work, Susan almost cried aloud. Children don’t keep people together. Don’t you read the newspapers? ‘I must go in,’ she stammered. ‘Good night.’ She gave him a quick awkward smile. ‘Good night, Bob.’
‘Good night, Susan.’
So Doris had been right, Susan thought distastefully. There was something and Bob was beginning to guess. He was on the threshold, just where she had been eighteen months ago when Julian, who had always kept strict office hours, started phoning with excuses at five about being late home.
‘Elizabeth?’ he had said when Susan took that indiscreet phone call. ‘Oh, that Elizabeth. Just a girl who keeps nagging me to take her dreary cookery features.’
What did Louise say? ‘Oh, that man. Just a fellow who keeps nagging me to buy central heating.’
Back to Miss Willingale. Paul hadn’t exaggerated when he had said he had tidied her desk. It was as neat as a pin, all the paper stacked and the two ballpoint pens put on the left of the typewriter. He had even emptied her ashtray.
Carefully she put all the cars away in their boxes before sitting down. This was the twelfth manuscript she had prepared for Jane Willingale in eight years, each time transforming a huge unwieldy ugly duckling of blotted scribblings into a perfect swan, spotless, clear and neat. Swans they had been indeed. Of the twelve, four had been best sellers, the rest close runners-up. She had worked for Miss Willingale while still Julian’s secretary, after her marriage and after Paul was born. There seemed no reason to leave her in the lurch just because she was now divorced. Besides, apart from the satisfaction of doing the job well, the novels afforded her a huge incredulous amusement. Or they had done until she had embarked on this current one and found herself in the same position as the protagonist. . . .
It was called Foetid Flesh, a ridiculous title for a start. If you spelt foetid with an O no one could pronounce it and if you left the O out no one would know what it meant. Adultery again, too. Infidelity had been the theme of Blood Feud and Bright Hair about the Bone, but in those days she hadn’t felt the need to identify.
Tonight she was particularly sensitive and she found herself wincing as she reread the typed page. Three literal mistakes in twenty-five lines. . . . She lit a cigarette and wandered into the hall where she gazed at her own reflection in the long glass. Tactless Doris had hit the nail on the head when she said it didn’t matter how good-looking a person’s husband or wife was. It must be variety and excitement the Julians and the Louises of this world wanted.
She was thinner now but she still had a good figure and she knew she was pretty. Brown eyes and fair hair were an unusual combination and her hair was naturally fair, still the same shade it had been when she was Paul’s age. Julian used to say she reminded him of the girl in some picture by Millais.
All that had made no difference. She had done her best to be a good wife but that had made no difference either. Probably Bob was a good husband, a handsome man with a pleasing personality any woman might be proud of. She turned away from the mirror, aware that she was beginning to bracket herself and her next-door neighbour. It made her uneasy and she tried to dismiss him from her mind.
2
Susan had just left Paul and Richard at the school gates when Bob North’s car passed her. That was usual, a commonplace daily happening. This morning, however, instead of joining the High Street stream that queued to enter the North Circular, the car pulled into the kerb a dozen yards ahead of her and Bob, sticking his head out of the window, went through the unmistakable dumbshow of the driver offering someone a lift.
She went up to the car, feeling a slight trepidation at this sudden show of friendship. ‘I was going shopping in Harrow,’ she said, certain it would be out of his way. But he smiled easily.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘As it happens, I have to go into Harrow. I’m leaving the car for a big service. I’ll have to go in by train tomorrow, so let’s hope the weather cheers up.’
For once Susan was glad to embark upon this dreary and perennial topic. She got into the car beside him, remembering an editorial of Julian’s in which he had remarked that the English, although partakers in the most variable and quixotic climate in the world, never become used to its vagaries, but comment upon them with shock and resentment as if all their lives had been spent in the predictable monsoon. And despite Julian’s scornful admonitions, Susan now took up Bob’s cue. Yesterday had been mild, today was damp with an icy wind. Spring was certainly going to be late in coming. He listened to it all, replying in kind, until she felt his embarrassment must be as great as her own. Was he already regretting having said a little too much the night before? Perhaps he had offered her the lift in recompense; perhaps he was anxious not to return to their old footing of casual indifference but attempting to create an easier neighbourly friendship. She must try to keep the conversation on this level. She mustn’t mention Louise.
They entered the North Circular where the traffic was heavy and Susan racked her brains for something to say.
‘I’m going to buy a present for Paul, one of those electrically operated motorways. It’s his birthday on Thursday.’
‘Thursday, is it?’ he said, and she wondered why, taking his eyes briefly from the busy road, he gave her a quick indecipherable glance. Perhaps she had been as indiscreet in mentioning her son as in talking of Louise. Last night he had spoken of his sorrow at his childlessness. ‘Thursday,’ he said again, but not interrogatively this time. His hands tightened a little on the wheel and the bones showed white.
‘He’ll be six.’
She knew he was going to speak then, that the moment had come. His whole body seemed to grow tense beside her and she perceived in him that curious holding of the breath and almost superhuman effort to conquer inhibition that precedes the outpouring of confession or confidence.
The Harrow bus was moving towards its stop and she was on the point of telling him, of saying that she could easily get out here and bus the rest of the way, when he said with an abruptness that didn’t fit his words, ‘Have you been very lonely?’
That was unexpected, the last question she had been prepared for. ‘I’m not sure what you mean,’ she said hesitantly.
‘I said, have you been lonely? I meant since your divorce.’
‘Well, I . . .’ Her cheeks burned and she looked down into her lap, at the black leather gloves that lay limply like empty useless hands. Her own hands clenched, but she relaxed them deliberately. ‘I’ve got over it now,’ she said shortly.
‘But at the time, immediately afterwards,’ he persisted.
The first night had been the worst. Not the first night she and Julian had slept apart but the night after the day when he had gone for good. She had stood at the window for hours, watching the people come and go. It had seemed to her then that no one but herself in the whole of her little world was alone. Everyone had an ally, a partner, a lover. Those married couples she could see had never seemed so affectionate, so bound together, before. Now she could remember quite distinctly how Bob and Louise had come home late from some dance or party, had laughed together in their front garden and gone into the house hand in hand.
She wasn’t going to tell him any of that. ‘Of course, I had a lot of adjusting to do,’ she said, ‘but lots of women get deserted by their husbands. I wasn’t unique.’
Plainly he had no intention of wasting sympathy on her case. ‘And husbands by their wives,’ he said. Here we go, Susan thought. Surely it couldn’t take more than ten minutes before they got into Harrow? ‘We’re in the same boat, Susan.’
‘Are we?’ She didn’t raise her eyebrows; she gave him no cue.
‘Louise is in love with someone else.’ The words sounded cold, deliberate, matter-of-fact. But when Susan made no reply, he suddenly burst out raggedly, ‘You’re a discreet, cagey one, aren’t you? Louise ought to thank you. Or maybe you’re on her side. Yes, I suppose that’s what it is. You’ve got a big anti-men thing because of what happened to you. It would be different, wouldn’t it, if some girl came calling on me while Louise was out of the house?’
Susan said quietly, although her hands were shaking, ‘It was kind of you to give me a lift. I didn’t know I was expected to show my gratitude by telling you what your wife does while you’re out.’
He caught his breath. ‘Perhaps that’s what I did expect.’
‘I don’t want to have any part in your private life, yours and Louise’s. Now I’d like to get out, please.’
He reacted peculiarly to this. Susan had thought refusal impossible, but instead of slowing the car down, he swung with hardly any warning into the fast lane. A car immediately behind them braked and hooted. Bob cut into the roundabout, making the tyres screech, and moved on a skid into the straight stretch. His foot went down hard on the accelerator and Susan saw his mouth ease into the smile of triumph. Indignant as she was, for a moment she was also genuinely afraid. There was something wild and ungoverned in his face that some women might have found attractive, but to Susan he simply looked very young, a reckless child.
The needle on the speedometer climbed. There were men who thought fast dangerous driving a sign of virility and this perhaps was what he wanted to demonstrate. His pride had been hurt and she mustn’t hurt it further. So instead of protesting, she only said dryly, although her palms were wet, ‘I should hardly have thought your car was in need of a service.’
He gave a low unhappy chuckle. ‘You’re a nice girl, Susan. Why didn’t I have the sense to marry someone like you?’ Then he put out the indicator, slowed and took the turn. ‘Did I frighten you? I’m sorry.’ He bit his lip. ‘I’m so damned unhappy.’ He sighed and put his left hand up to his forehead. The dark lock fell across it and once more Susan saw the bewildered boy. ‘I suppose he’s with her now, leaving his car outside for everyone to see. I can picture it all. That ghastly dog barks and they all go to their windows. Don’t they? Don’t they, Susan?’
‘I suppose so.’
‘For two pins I’d drop back to lunch one day and catch them.’
‘That’s the shop I want, Bob, so if you wouldn’t mind . . .’
‘And that’s my garage.’
He got out and opened the door for her courteously. Julian had never bothered with small attentions of this kind. Julian’s face had never shown what he was feeling. Bob was far better looking than Julian, franker, easier to know—and yet? It wasn’t a kind face, she thought. There was sensitivity there, but of the most egocentric kind, the sensitivity that feels for itself, closes itself to the pains of others, demands, grasps, suffers only when its possessor is thwarted.
She stepped out of the car and stood on the pavement beside him in the cold wind. It whipped colour into the skin over his cheekbones so that suddenly he looked healthy and carefree. Two girls went past them and one of them looked back at Bob, appraisingly, calculatingly, in the way men look at pretty women. He too had caught the glance and it was something of a shock to Susan to watch him preen himself faintly and lean against the car with conscious elegance. She picked up her basket and said briskly, ‘Thanks. I’ll see you around.’
‘We must do this more often,’ he said with a shade of sarcasm.
The car was still at the pavement edge and he still sitting at the wheel when she came out of the toyshop. How hard the past year had made her! Once she would have felt deeply for anyone in his situation, her own situation of twelve months before. She couldn’t escape the feeling he was acting a part, putting all the energy he could muster into presenting himself as an object of pity. He said he was unhappy, but he didn’t look unhappy. He looked as if he wanted people to think he was. Where were the lines of strain, the silent miserable reserve? Their eyes met for a second and she could have sworn he made his mouth droop for her benefit. He raised his hand in a brief salute, started the engine and moved off along the concrete lane between the petrol pumps.
In another Certainty editorial, Julian Townsend had averred that almost the only green spaces remaining in north-west London were cemeteries. One of these, the overspill graveyard of some central borough, separated the back gardens of Orchard Drive from the North Circular Road. From a distance it still had a prettiness, an almost rural air, for the elms still raised their black skeletal arms against the sky and rooks still nested in them. But, taking the short cut home across the cemetery, you could only forget you were in a suburb, on the perimeter of a city, by the exercise of great imagination and by half closing your senses. Instead of scented grass and pine needles, you smelt the sourness of the chemical factory, and between the trees the traffic could always be seen as if on an eternal senseless conveyor belt, numberless cars, transporters carrying more cars, scarlet buses.
Susan got off one of these buses and took the cemetery path home. A funeral had taken place the day before and a dozen wreaths lay on the fresh mound, but a night of frost and half a day of bitter wind had curled and blackened their petals. It was still cold. The clouds were amorphous, dishcloth-coloured, with ragged edges where the wind tore them. A day, Susan thought, calculated to depress even the most cheerful. Struggling across the bleakest part of the expanse, she thought that to an observer she must appear as she held her coat collar up against her cheeks like Oliver Twist’s mother on her last journey to the foundling hospital. Then she smiled derisively. At least she wasn’t pregnant or poor or homeless.
Now as she came into the dip on the Matchdown Park side, she could see the backs of the Orchard Drive houses. Her own and the Norths’ were precisely identical and this brought her a feeling of sadness and waste. It seemed too that their occupants’ lives were destined to follow a similar pattern, distrust succeeding love, bitterness and rupture, distrust.
Two men were coming down the path from Louise’s back door. They had cups of tea in their hands, the steam making faint plumes in the chill air, and Susan supposed they were labourers from the excavations on the road immediately below her. They had been digging up that bit of tarmac for weeks now, laying drains or cables—who knew what they ever did?—but it had never occurred to Susan to offer them tea. To her they had merely meant the nuisance of having clay brought in on Paul’s shoes and the staccato screaming chatter of their pneumatic drills.
She let herself out of the cemetery gate and crossed the road. Inside the workmen’s hut a red fire burned in a brazier made from a perforated bucket. As she approached the gate in her own fence the heat from this fire reached her, cheerful, heartening, a warm acrid breeze.
The men who had the tea cups moved up to the fire and squatted in front of it. Susan was about to say good morning to them when a third emerged from the trench that never seemed to grow deeper or shallower and gave a shrill wolf whistle. No woman ever really minds being whistled at. Does any woman ever respond? Susan fixed her face into the deadpan expression she reserved for such occasions and entered her own garden.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the whistling man march up Louise’s path in quest of his tea. The fence was six feet high between the two back doors. Susan could see nothing, but she heard Louise laugh and the exchange of badinage that followed that laughter.
Susan went through the house and out of the front door to bring in the milk. Contrary to Bob’s prediction, there was no green Zephyr on the grass patch, but wedged into the earth at the far side of the garden she caught sight of its counterpart in miniature. Inadvertently she had left one of Paul’s cars out all night.
As she stooped to pick it up, shaking the earth from its wheels, Doris appeared from Betty Gibbs’s house with Betty following her to prolong their conversation and their last good-byes as far as the gate.